Have you ever heard the saying “you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with?” It’s a popular quote because it seems to ring true. But, how does this happen? Sometimes it’s subconscious. You go to school with them or you work with them or they are your family. Maybe it isn’t a choice at all. But, what about the people you choose to spend time with? Your partner or your friends? Are you “choosy” when it comes to the people you surround yourself with?
I’ve been thinking a lot about how your attitude affects who you end up relating to and who you spend your time with. If you consciously “edit” the people you spend time with, you likely end up with people who have similar outlooks and values as you do. I don’t mean that you should have all the same thoughts and opinions as your friends, but it’s the difference between someone who is always pessimistic or a downer in life vs. someone who is optimistic about life.
It’s taken some time for me to figure this out. Throughout my 20s, I definitely tried to be more conscious of who I considered a friend. I don’t need 50 friends…or even 20. I’m perfectly happy with a select few who are considerate, supportive, and have a positive outlook on life. If I dread taking time out of my day to spend time with someone, maybe that’s a sign that they aren’t healthy to be around.
I consciously try to do my best to stay positive and active in my life. When I am successful at this, I do think I attract people who strive to do the same. We all have our down days, but it’s much easier to get back up and look on the bright side when surrounded by people who see the world that way. If I do that for my friends, I’m likely to be surrounded by people who do the same for me.
The background behind the quote above is actually a painting I did. You all know that Becca and I spend a lot of time together (she’s definitely one of my 5..and a great one at that!). I mentioned to her that I used to play around with painting and would love to do that again. Becca set a date for us to do it together to encourage me to actually do this for myself. See what I mean about surrounding yourself with supportive and positive people?
Have you found this in your own life? Are there times when you attracted the wrong kind of person to your tribe vs. the “right” kind of person?